The EMDR Therapy Process: A Step-by-Step Guide

Here is a detailed overview of the EMDR therapy process.

Initial Assessment

• Before we begin the deeper work, I want you to know—this is not a place where you have to perform, protect, or prove. This is for the ones who were forgotten, the beaten, the damned. The ones who learned how to smile through silence and stay small to survive. If that’s you, I want you to know I see the cost of that survival—and I honor it.
• This assessment isn’t about labeling or pathologizing you. It’s about understanding your story, your nervous system, and the parts of you that have carried more than they ever should have. We’ll move gently—starting with the present, resourcing safety, and honoring your pace. EMDR isn’t about diving in fast. It’s about titration, trust, and giving your system permission to rest for the first time.
• You don’t have to go back to the pain alone. And you don’t have to rush. Together, we’ll build something different—a space where even the most exiled parts of you feel welcome.

Preparation 

• Before we go near the pain, we build safety. Together. We create inner resources—safe places, containers, calm figures—that your nervous system can return to when things get loud. For the ones who never had a soft place to land, we make one here. Titration is everything. Your system leads the way.Coping Strategies 

• I will teach you various coping mechanisms and relaxation techniques to manage emotional distress during and between sessions. Imagine the gentle ebb and flow of ocean waves or the stillness of a mountain lake, bringing a sense of calm and relaxation. 
• Techniques may include deep breathing, mindfulness, and grounding exercises, akin to feeling the warm sand beneath your feet or the cool, clear water of a pristine lake. 

Identifying Targets

• Here, we begin to identify the target memories—moments your body still remembers, even if your mind has tried to forget. We get curious about the beliefs those moments left behind: I’m not safe. I’m not worthy. I have to stay small. You’re not asked to relive the pain. Just notice what lingers.

Desensitization 

• This is where the EMDR magic begins. Using bilateral stimulation, we help your brain do what it was built to do: process. Unstick. Release. You’ll never be forced to go further than your system allows. We move at your pace, always anchored in safety. You’re not alone in it—not anymore.

Processing the Memory

• You are encouraged to notice thoughts, feelings, and sensations that arise during BLS. I guide the process, helping you to reprocess and integrate the memory, reducing its emotional charge, like the sun setting over the horizon, bringing closure to the day, or the clarity that comes from a mountain peak view. 

Installation

• We begin to install what’s true now—not what trauma taught you. I am safe. I am worthy. I am enough. These new beliefs don’t get forced. They rise slowly, when the old ones no longer fit. You don’t have to believe them yet. That’s okay. We plant the seeds anyway.

Body Scan

• We check in with the body—the place where it all got stored. Not to poke at wounds, but to listen. We ask: Is there anything left here? We honor what’s still holding on, and we give it space to soften. Nothing gets rushed. Nothing gets dismissed.

Stabilization

• Every session ends with safety. Always. We bring you back to center, to groundedness, to now. No open wounds, no overwhelm. Just breath, containment, and knowing you made it through. You don’t have to leave holding more than you came in with.

In between sessions you will practice self-care and coping strategies learned during preparation. I will provide guidance on managing emotions and thoughts between sessions. 

At the beginning of each session, we will reevaluate your progress and any changes in symptoms. We will decide on the next target for reprocessing or continue working on the same memory if needed. The process repeats with new targets, gradually addressing and resolving a network of distressing memories and associated symptoms.